A Cry for Help

The last I checked, I don't scare easily. But now, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what's happening to me, of what I am and might become.

Sure, I've always been insecure and depressed before this, but I have never felt myself sink so low. I haven't truly slept for more than a week and I'm drained, but every time I lie down I feel so restless and uncomfortable that I have to get back up where I get so exhausted that I need to lie down again. And that is a good night.

I think this entire ordeal started at the start of the month, Teacher's day. I thought it was just nostalgia. Now it's pretty obvious it's more than that.

I'm tired and I can barely function now yet all I can think about is how sober I am. It all feels so real without whiskey in my blood to loosen me up. I keep going back to how I'm not adequately sauced. That and I think I'm craving nicotine.

I scare me now. More than ever, I really need help.

Someone please help me.