Pointless

What happened?

I used to have a future. Or at the very least believed myself to have a marginally bright one. There were big things for me. I was going to be somebody.

What happened to that hot shot debater? That career as a backup singer? A scientist? What happened to the dreams of being a family man with a beautiful life of just being there for the people who need you?

How did my life become such an exercise in futility?

How did I end up sloughing through one menial assignment, just to find another deadline and yet another one after that? All for a career that will never take off.

I never had the talent to succeed like this. I can't even spell success without a spellcheck. All I had going was bravado and heart.

If it were just work, I might be able to paint a bright smile on my face and win an academy. But you can't hug with nuklear arms. Like a dark Midas Touch, it seems everything around me tends to die. Or in a less dramatic fashion, fail.

But what happens when a heart stops beating?

You can lock it away in shatter proof glass but it'll still die. I'm running low on hope, on energy.

I end up just going through the motions. Nothing to look forward to but more failure and more futility.

This blog is an exercise in futility. No one even reads this garbage.

I wouldn't even be a cautionary tale, because I was never anything of note to begin with.

That would be pointless.